thesurvivor♥

Friday, April 30, 2010 12:04 am

Merrily may

As I'm burning out the data into the disc for my lecturer,
I could feel the enlightenment, bringing me relief.

I can finally put my foot down for that. :')

1. No more Shanghai expo exhibition
2. Not helping out in the poster anymore since it'll be dragged till June.
3. Freelance job has gonecase. Neither am I approaching that job from the person.
4. Work is fine, just a few dozing-off sessions caught me guilty.
5. Competition meetings are going on on weekends.
6. 48-hour film competition held tomorrow. I'll be staying out on Friday till Saturday.
7. I might have OT on weekends. Thank god, you know I wanted it so much, but sorry, not now please?
8. Project submission on Tuesday.
9. USS soon :)
10. Pixie haircut. :)

"United we stand, divided we fall."

A phrase not too new, a meaning not too old.

Thursday, April 22, 2010 8:40 pm

Playing brain games do not make you a smarter person

Life's great, but not at Home with inconsiderate people.

Narcissists express excessive love for themselves that they are unaware for others say, being sensitive for others' feelings and such.

I yearn for OT everyday but just blame it on my luck that I get to go home early. This home to me, has nothing for me to look forward to, except my outside work to be done from my laptop, and my bed. Other than that, my room is just a place for my possessions, be it valuable or what not.

I'm so worn out each day after work, and of the short hours of sleep I get in between. Dozing off at work is not a joke, thought it seems funny at first, but come to think of it, it can be a serious offence:
1. Oversight of yours leading to a misjudged/ inaccurancy piece of work. And that alone, may prolly land you in a serious court case?

Ah, I can't be bothered to think beyond this. Sigh. I'm enough of this.
I shall do some work before sleeping early tonight.
I had too many late nights recently, just because I wanted to get over and done with some pressing deadlines. And each time I stay up late, it gets later and later, 1 am, 2 am, 3 am.. and waking up at 7 am.

This family is screwed up. I say.
-with tears welling up in my eyes sitting in front of my laptop as I type this, in a background of fucking irritating brothers commenting crudely and loudly as they play the game console from the television-

The negative side of technology.

"Playing brain games do not make you a smarter person."
You should read news with headline like this instead,
and to realize your stand in this society.

A pair of useless guys, I say.
Prove your worth before you want me to respect you, *******!

Monday, April 19, 2010 11:10 pm

hope and love

/edit.

I almost forgot.
She said something more insulting.
"This isn't a kindergarten,
this is not a child's play."

She's trying to infer that I'm a kid who agreed to help her.

------------------------

I've been very busy on weekends, that I always look forward to weekdays.
'Cos only then I get to escape certain issues. :/
Anyway, I'll get things in place as soon as possible, if time and energy allow me so.
More classmates joining us at work, though different offices. :)

To those who poured your words of advices, concern and a pair of listening ears when I was at my worst,
Because I have only a pair of hands, I'm letting go of the disturbing problems and replacing them with hope and love from you.

Thank you. :)

Coming weekends are already packed before I could plan.
Nonetheless, I managed to attend one of my outings with my 'long-distant' friends from the north for some catching up. :)

Apparently, my coming friday evening is still available.

Sunday, April 18, 2010 8:54 am

I felt so threatened

An educator shouldn't vent all problems on a student,
and this isn't the first time.

1. I'm just a student helper who gets nothing put another project to add up to my portfolio; Recognition.

2. I'm now a graduate have a stable job now.

3. I live for myself, not for others.

So, I received smses and calls during my office hours regarding the project that I'm involved in, as a helper. Yes, I agreed to meet on weekly on a weekend, but the time/venue/day are not even fixed yet. And I went ahead to plan my activities, and leaving one of the weekends free (but after a certain time). Reasonable? Cool. And if we're not meeting, I've another alternative plan to replace our meeting. Okay, before this, you told me you asked 2 of my classmates to be involved, I was like, okay, now there're 2 more helpers, and I guess maybe I could excuse myself for that meeting (since there're more than enough helpers to do up on that 'work'), just to go for my friend's voluntary work. I told that to you, and you 'flamed' up.

You said nasty words to me.
"I'm very disappointed with you, very very disappointed with you."
"I seriously don't know what to do with you."
"You're so irresponsible."
"You seem so uninterested or committed to this project."
"You said you didn't need any help." (That's because it's troublesome for so many people to work together, of different standards, styles, and THINKING.)

I was so damn hurt, accused, disappointed, and pissed off.
I cried from Raffles city to Marina square while over the phone with you.
Especially when I was the one who helped in this project right from the start, feb 2009 till date, with people leaving/ joining the group and then left me alone. Now, there're 3 more others in it. I guess we shall start working together and get this over and done with..

You should at least be appreciative of my effort to help you.
Do you even understand me?

Not until I apologized to you, only then you apologized to me.
I was so dumbfounded.

Education ought to be taught to educators first.
But anyway, whatever.

I will not commit myself to such educator or to any sort of work.
I felt so taken for granted and worthless of my effort and time.

Stop saying that, "you're still a student, and I hope this is a learning stage for you."
Excuses like this, does not affect me anymore.

If we couldn't meet the deadline, you got to answer to the people of higher authority, which will involve alot of others.

Look, the baseline of this is: What has that got to do with me if you're feeling negative toward me and still persuading me to work with you (just because I worked long for you and you need me?).

I felt so threatened but to help you till the end.
Just another 2 more weeks, and I'm out of it.

Lastly you said, "no hard feelings okay?"
You tell someone about all the negatives, and then tell her not to have any hard feelings.
You try to be me and tell me.
Okay, I might just cool off from this after some time, but I'll still remember such words coming from an educator.

I'll remember you.

Saturday, April 17, 2010 4:02 pm

对不起

"对不起"，这三个字，真没用。
整件事都因我而起。
虽然已经聊开来了，我还是知道我不对。
真是的。。。
我没用。。

我原本想单独和你道歉，但刚刚出了点事，所以不能。。
嗨哟。。

你也就在我最无助，最伤心的一面，认识了一个新我。

Sunday, April 11, 2010 11:36 pm

E-d

Maybe it is just me who is face-changing to people around.

Well, we ought to.
But I'm still disgusted.

2:12 am

面具

你这个人怎么那么假呀?!
好恶心。

请你别再碰我！

你让我烦感。

既然太阳也有黑点,人间的事情就不可能没有缺点。正如阴影总和阳光相伴,一个人总有他的优点和缺点。
一个人的优点,不是最可贵的,最可贵的是改正缺点。掩饰一个缺点，等于暴露了一个缺点。我们不应该掩饰自己的缺点。应该放开自己的性格，让别人指出自己的不足。

俗话说的好：不犯错误的人将一事无成。最重要的是改正错误。勇敢的承认自己不知道的事才能学习。

真正的酒香不怕港子深，真正的人才是不会忘记别人对自己的不满，不会忘记失败的教训。

I made a total of 2 regrets from last year and this year.

Friday, April 09, 2010 11:00 pm

Sense of responsibility is a question and also an answer.

You're made the leader, and you lead the group.
One of the members can't make it for the discussion, and requests to meet you the next day.
Take for instance, the discussion is held on a Saturday, and a request is made to meet you on Sunday. To add on, you're working 5 days a week.

Will you -
1. Arrange another day, but not the next day, with that member?
2. Sacrifice your only day of your weekend to entertain that request?
3. Ignore?

Now, if you know the reason behind the request:
He/ she wants to rest.
Because he/ she has been working for 5 days a week + OT and wants to rest on Saturday. Nonetheless, some strenuous exercise will be carried out on Sunday. And work resumes on Monday.

I immediately responded to that with the same reply.
"I'm resting on Sunday, not entertaining anyone."

If you need rest, what about me?
Even though you had OT, I had to settle a few projects on hand after I reach home after work. I only get to sleep almost the same time as you too, if you do not know.

It doesn't apply fairness to me. I've been working hard for everyone. Surely I can entitle myself with a day of rest out of the 7 days.

9:32 pm

Dates

1. My classmates just started work in DPA this week. It's a great opportunity for most of us to work together despite having graduated from our course.

2. I'm shortlisted for an aptitude test in NUS Architecture/ Industrial Design.

3. Winson has left for Taiwan this evening.
Hence, we held a farewell dinner for him yesterday at Cafe Cartel.
I bought him a customized brownie. (That was the first time I bought it after 2 years, where I used to patronize monthly.) Their other flavours are as delicious too.

4. I went for a health screening checkup provided by the company. I shrunk and gained weight. Terrible truth. Lol. The reality call for me that I needa start off my weekend jogs. :(

5. TGIF! = Tuning in to Survivor at midnight with Darren. And he is giving me 2 treats soon. Muahahaha.

6. My weekends are gonna be burnt for meetings and personal jobscope.

7. I've too many important dates to remember.

Next week:
NDP Interview on Monday.
DPA Submission on Thursday.
Aptitude test on Saturday.

Monday, April 05, 2010 11:23 pm

My Enrolment, My Future

The NTU admission system is quite dumb.

We only got back our final semester results a week after their deadline for the submission of it. So tell me, how are we supposed to submit?

My colleagues reminded me of the bonding with DP Architects to sponsor me for my future studies should I intend to. And if I would, overseas would be a better place compared to local (NUS). I was thinking of just staying on in DP, but that would mean that my working career is not exposed beyond DP. Nevertheless, if you look on a long term, I'll have a job immediately after my master degree. Sure enough, my future has been planned the moment I sign the bond contract (assuming that the university at overseas has accepted my enrollment).

I've just been shortlisted for an aptitude test for upcoming Saturday, 17 April. And if I pass that, I'll have an interview to attend as well.

Oh well, and now it comes down to my decision again.

Thursday, April 01, 2010 11:28 pm

Am I being missed?

Work has been great for these four days.
I was appointed to a design team, and I'm well taken care of by everyone in my team.

1. Birth 10 the Gradshow has ended.
I thank all of my friends who went down to express their support for our friendship/ my effort in the pursue of my studies. Along with my express of thanks, I gave each a cupcake, not to express my apology to a few who did not get due to limited cupcakes.

Nevertheless, I really appreciate every single one of your presence. Thank you.

2. I started work just right after my exhibition days. It was a tough struggle to stay awake for the first two days or so. Hahahaha.

3. (Locked)

4. A meeting with my lecturer early in the morning. And she mixed up the venue, so I had to go over with my really-too-casual home clothes to bukit batok. It kinda delayed my plans for my later part of my day.
My colleagues and I had a long walk from Mt Faber Park to Hortpark and back to Vivocity for dinner and dessert, on a Good Friday!

5. A singing session with my friends at Jurong Safra.

A thought which does not result in an action is nothing much,
and an action which does not proceed from a thought is nothing at all.
Georges Bernanos