thesurvivor♥

Friday, February 29, 2008 10:18 pm

My first known, Leap Year

Pathetic leap day. D:
My plan couldn't be carried out. Z.
SADDENED.

But still, at least got to spend it with my group of people. :D

Last but not least, i shall open this invitation to friends out there.
Anyone would like to catch 'The Leap Years' with me? D:

----------------

It's not surprising to see negative tabloids nowadays,

with the advancing technology and,

the rising numbers of childish bunch of kids.

What worse can the future be of?

12:12 am

Friends?

We ain't any normal friends in the first place.

We started off with a violent sparkle.
With the sparkles shining so brightly in the dark silent night,
blinded us with the beautiful start.

We carried on.
Then, it ended off abruptly.

I can't trust you, somehow when i share my problems with you, you will tell this person. And he gets to know everything! I want to trust you, yet having a second thought. You're someone who can make me smile, yet someone who can make me detest too.. So what do you want from me? You want me to pour my feelings to you, i'm fine with it. But you went to tell others about it. So, you make me afraid when i want to tell you.

Happy Lear Year, everyone!
My friend and I have agreed to countdown together every leap year.(:

What a nice time, 12.12.
12.12 means 'you miss me', from some drama series.

Thursday, February 28, 2008 12:33 pm

And i don't trust them,

Them.
My entrustment, my gullibility, my sensitive emotional.
So, i allow
Forgiveness, chances, enlightment.
Yet,
The breakers, the denial, the liars.

I lost trust in you. Get it?

----------

The so-called love has vanished by itself.

I feel so retarded, by sharing those little hints of joy.

And now, i'm giving all back.

Believe me or not, it might come back again.

And my nonsense and assumption might just suffocate you.

Yes, i'm silly and am blinded, and is stubborn.

11:54 am

Midnight calls,

Thanks for those talks, though we might have exceeded 4am, if not for our 'no-battery-situation'. Now, i feel much better, yet not physically. 'Cos, my head and eyes hurt! Lol.

------------

Apart from that, my dad got us enticed about studying for money. To simply put it, he pays us to see our results and to also score better. That's his way of encouragement. You must be thinking, what a nice dad etc. Who wouldn't say no to money? Neither can i do it. But one thing for sure, i do feel guilty for taking his money. Apparently, he has 3 schooling children.

He knew that my results were out. Perhaps that's why he used money to make me spilt out my results. At least, i didn't flunked like what his colleague's son did. I think my dad is quite worried. And you must be thinking why am i not telling them. I'd never tell them. I'll show them, once the letter arrives. I assume they will be sending out results via post too, as they did that for semester 1. And that's my habit since young, i don't like to talk about my work, my social life or almost everything with them. Sigh. 'Cos they've lost my trust in them.

There's sure to have people out there who are eager to know about my results. The first two modules are pleasing to my eyes, with an A and A+. Woohoo. But the rest shall be the downfall of it. Lol. [Downfall reminds me of bridge(:] My other core modules, two B+ and B. My elective ones, B and C. So lousy and am utterly disgusted. *Shrunk* D: Let's not talk about GPA. It sucks man.

I'm gonna choose the right group, the right people, and not those who will pull me down. I hate free-riders. Hardworkers, choose me choose me! I feel evil.

---------

This morning, i had cereal with ~~milk~~ water. Yucks. We buy two kinds of milk, HL and Daisy. Daisy, which i drink, has finished already. But HL, is my bro's, so he drinks it from the carton milk itself. *Shrugs* I've no comment.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 7:59 pm

Blame it on me,

Alright, i somehow managed to ease my inner self.

Sorry guys, those who were talking to me this morning, and suddenly giving out cold shoulder.
Partly is because, results? I hate people who keep asking for others' results. Z.
Another reason would me, i got irritated when i wasn't in the least interested to know my results, yet you just kept rattling away with it.

I do not want to find faults in others.. D:
And thanks CY, for consoling/ cheering me up again. (:

Lost all feelings.
Left me dumbfounded.

Wednesday;
I will read ashes for you, if you ask me.
I wil look in the fire and tell you from the gray lashes
And out of the red and black tongues and stripes,
I will tell how fire comes
And how fire runs as far as the sea.
- Carl Sandburg, 'fire pages'

Tuesday, February 26, 2008 11:46 am

期待爱

Often, the wrong attention.
Seldom, the right person.

My life
一直在等待
空荡的口袋
想在里面放一份爱
Why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我实实在在
不管帅不帅
想要找回来
自己的节拍
所以这一次
我要勇敢大声说出来
期待期待
你发现我的爱
无所不在我自然而然的关怀
你的存在心灵感应的方向
我一眼就看出来
是因为爱
我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯越靠近越明白
不要走开
幸福的开始就是放手去爱

Oh yeah, benjamin recorded his singing too! Not too bad too. :DD

Monday, February 25, 2008 10:30 pm

Responsibility in one

Oh well, this is one sensitive topic which i dare not touch on, even with my friends.

When you borrow something from others, or it just happen to have someone's things with you, why can't you jolly well return them back?!

And that's why i detest lending my things to others. Just because, some irresponsible people do not take the initiative to return my things back to me! And in the end, both parties tend to forget, and there it goes, my things became your things. And when i need it, i will search for it high and low, knowing that i have it but realised it's with someone else.

Don't you guys have the sense of integrity? Or even, initiative? And most of my friends are leaders, for goodness sake.
Or just keep having the "oh, i've forgotten. Sorry! I'll return to you tomorrow." by your mouth, and the next day, you repeat that line again.

Of course not to mention, money.
There're few people out there who have yet to return my money. For goodness sake, i'm not trying to sound as if everything to me is so precious, or i'm so calculative and stuffs. But, i'm just venting out my unvoiced thoughts and feelings after so much tolerance to some of you. There's always a limit to my tolerance.

And it really keeps me thinking.
People really love to pin-point others, and saying you are selfish when you do not wish to lend them things. Oh right, please people, if you really wish to borrow things from others, jolly well return to them after you used it! Do not make them wait or even ask them from you! That's totally rubbish okay. So what if you have short term memory, so what if you're really that busy as you claimed? Does that make you feel better? Does that even make your friend who lent you and make him/her wait, to feel good?

In my way of borrow-return, i am more than willing to help. But, i will say, "remember to return hor." And to them, perhaps just comply with me. Next moment, gone with their words, and gone with my things. Z. And i really don't like the idea of me (the lender) to chase after the borrower for my things back. I feel that's rather uncalled for.

I'd really appreciate if i can get back my things asap? But that's rather rare.
Anyway, i'm seriously NOT targetting at anyone. It's just something which i really wish to speak out for myself and a reminder for those who are doing this to your friends. That's not a way to treat your fellow friends, alright.

7:49 pm

Picture Imperfect

With all the preparation God gave,
the right timing, the right venue,
but the wrong person.

I'm not referring to anything.
I can't put myself to imagine too.
If i can't picture you in it, i can't do it.
And it was hilarious when i could only picture you in there.

You will just ignore,
And i will just pop out of nowhere.
Rar rar rar~

I want to make my leap of faith to a leap of love.

... Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too- even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.

Lil bro's vs mine.

Look at the condition.

My family! :D

PIE KIA

Located @ Choa Chu Kang X-Change,

prices ranging from $1.20 to $?

Damn nice i tell you. It's done on the spot, so you'll needa wait.

And there's pie kia, pie si, dua pie kia to choose from.

Elyssa sa sa sa sa.

"Love is the only rational act."

Sunday, February 24, 2008 9:09 pm

Help me.

I think.. maybe i should try. But i've lost my courage already.

Once bitten, twice shy.

Will he show? Will she wait? D:
The Leap Years,
a local film.

~~Pathetic lil window, sits a widow.~~

My march is full of activities! :D
And you're getting enlisted too..
Till now, you still don't want to meet?

说真的我不是故意
看见你和她在街头伫立
我在犹豫该不该逃避
还是让你看见我在这里
天空间飘来的雨
滴滴洒落在我心里
我在怀疑该不该躲你
该不该躲这场雨
大雨就要开始不停的下
我的心,我的心,已经完全的没有主张
带我到没有爱情的地方
大雨就要开始不停的下
我的心我的心已经完全的失去方向
带我到没有爱情的地方

12:27 pm

Once every 2 years,

YESTERDAY.

Alright boys, good job done.
Though your best wasn't shown yesterday, we've already seen it.
A lil kind of pity, but still we're proud of you.

:DDD
Cheer up man!
It's alright.

And having to see till the end of the competition, i think our chances are... :X
Oh, and my phone went flat on me. What a timely thing to happen eh. D:
Thus, i had to stay close with one ah ma and friends. HAHA.

Bmy didn't camwhore too. :
And she knows of a secret! Hiak hiak..

Aside from that, 2 circles are formed around my eyes! Burnt burnt burnt.
Yesterday was just a great day, which is beyond words? (:
The ride to and fro was fun too. HAHA. Thanks xueping!
Of course not to forget, the self-proclaimed LS. -.-

I WANT TO WATCH BPBAND AT SYF! AND BPNPCC AT NPAP!
AHHHHHH. 2 years ago, it was like that too. Now, it's still the same day!!

And today, i discovered my bed frame was on the verge of breaking!
So i "hammered"(leg) it back, but still left a gap which cant seem to move in. :/
I shall not abuse my bed anymore. :X

Thursday, February 21, 2008 11:17 pm

Sinful repentance;

What's done is done.
And I don't have an eraser on my head.

And yes, i stupidly act-ed smart yesterday,

and ended up with a bruise on my left wrist.

I'm glad that my bones are strong

'cos they might have broke apart from the strength i used.

"Pencils have erasers because people make mistakes."
Ty Ross

I wrote your name in the sand but the waves washed it away,

Then I wrote it in the sky but the wind blew it away,

So I wrote it in my heart and that's where it will stay.

1:25 pm

let's do the counting.

Recollections.

YL and I were doing the counting as much as we could, if not of the grogginess.
6 years for her, and 5 years for me.
They seemed like the day before.

We discussed several topics and our linkages were superb! HAHA.

And, i added one more person into my teeny weeny secret.
It's only like.. 2 persons know it better.
However, one person is not really keen on it. D:
So left ONE! But also not very close.
I needa bribe more! :X
But bribing also doesn't help much, just increase the rate of risk.
Needa risk my reputation, and er *you are not invited to read the remaining information. To get access, ask from the owner of this blog. Thank you*.
And why am i doing all this booshit? -.-

2:16 am

Now you see a clown.

I just went for a loo trip and shocked myself.
Something was wrong with my face.
I looked different. D:

Alright, let's sing songs.

Hmm, mm, I want to linger dear
Hmm, mm, a little longer here
Hmm, mm, a little longer here with you
Hmm, mm, it's such a perfect right
Hmm, mm, it's doesn't seem quite right
Hmm, mm, this is our last night here with you
Hmm, mm, when its comes December
Hmm, mm, I will remember
Hmm, mm, our camping days and friendship through
Hmm, mm, as the years goes by
Hmm, mm, I think of you and sigh
Hmm, mm, this is goodnight not good-bye..

;I recall the days we used to echo.

Echo after me!
E-C-H-O ECHO ECHO OH-OH. -.-
What an 'impressive' linking.
And i'm quite over it, the fact that makes me rather ashamed of?
You don't know what i'm referring to, so don't assume.
I hate assumptions, for it leads to unforesee consequences.
And you, think before you act.
I wonder why am i so uptight about it, for i've no business in it.
-------------------------------------------------

A friend of mine, advised me not to plan too far ahead.
I did so, and now it's time to retrieve back and plan what's ahead of me for next 3 years?
We spoke of different topics, which all revolves around my future.
Perhaps sometimes i need not narrow down my choices, even if i'm stuck with one?
Choices are what make our lives different.

I wanted to type about something, but it's okay! :X
I needa start bribing some people. :XX

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 10:59 pm

I don't have a new life.

~~"Do you want to be one?" I asked.~~
"No, we want to start a new life." They said.
Perhaps, i just can't make them stay.
And I can't even make you stay too.. Sigh.

我总会有那依依不舍的感觉
但我得控制自己。
有时，我会觉得寂寞。
又有时，我只是想交些朋友罢了。
但实中不能啊。。

最后，还是没找到能交代的人。
他们不会了解的啦。

7:52 pm

20th February, the anniversary

Last year's today,
a memorable day.
This year's today,
just like any other normal days.

断不了的影子，
就慢慢地被忆忘了。
It's okay, it's alright..

I want my big teddy bear. D:
As weird as it can be lo. Hooha booha ohah lo.
It won't be long, i say.
What do you say?

12:13 pm

Where i meet my doom,

My mum said i'm recovering.
I hope so.
But i wasn't referring to what she was referring.
I have to recover fast..

I closed my eyes, staying awake till 5plus am, on my bed. That's torturous when you know that you're tired and you can't go to sleep. I felt as though a living corpse. Now that the nightmare's gone, the insomnia is back. What the hell.
Oh yes, i needa get a hat for my long-owed 人情. Rofl.

Vinivinivinivini vanavanavanavana ta lusi ta lusi eh!
ta lusi oompah oompah oompah omm pah pah ta lusi ta lusi eh!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008 11:50 pm

In the morning 3am,

6 applications;
4 word.doc, 2 excel.
Time-check: 11.53pm

Rosabeth Moss Kantor:
Leaders are more powerful role models when they learn than when they teach.

They just keep me going. Thankyou. (:

What will happen, if i'm left behind?
Get me to imagine, for i can't and i don't want to.

12:52 pm

Tuesday;

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light!
- Edna St vincent Millay,
'First Fig,' A few Figs from Thistles

"You stole my heart, so I carry yours as a souvenir."

1:59 am

What if?

What if life only lasted a day,
Do you think we'd appreciate it better?
What if life was like hell,
Do you think we would dream?
About a life like we have now?
What if in life we had everything,
Do you think it would get boring?
Why want another life?
Your life is perfect already
B. Allen, Woodcrest

12:08 am

She is Pinga,

She was white, *take a look at my bag, you'll see a penguin.*
However, under the hands of a devil, she became like that.
P.S: Not my doing. I dote on my stuffed toys.

Her 'beak' was bitten off.
My mum cut it off, 'cos devil agitated her.
Then she sewn it back. -.-

Sigh. Wth lo. I'm utterly disgusted. HA.

----------------------------------------------------------

I think i'm avoiding.

Nightmares, being so scary. But by sleeping from the time range of 2 to 4am the next day isn't practical too.

I conclude that i'm a weird person,

but KangLi is weirder. :D

And he has promised me to keep a lookout for BIGteddybear lookalikes on the streets, getting ready to capture them with his small human net eh. YAY.

My tagboard is dying, soon of hyperventilation. It needs CPR, man. C'mon people, please tag! Lol.

Monday, February 18, 2008 8:46 pm

Bmy @ work I

Take One, NG:

Take Two:

Special thanks to RuoLin:D
She's a wonderful partner! Someone who's willing to compromise with me in almost everything! Fyi, she's the only person whom i can find, to impersonate fairytales characters for prom! :D I was the fairy, and she was the lil red riding hood!

:DDDD
And i miss her so.

3:28 pm

Collage of memories

Still quite a liking for it.

Very much attached to it, still.

With my life attached to it.

I shall post up some of my works, which i did for my sec3&4 class. :D
Look out for Bmy the director soon alright!

1:22 pm

Monday

Brother, I am fire
Surging under ocean floor.
I shall never meet
you, brother -
Not for years, anyhow;
Maybe thousands of years, brother.
Then I will warm you,
Hold you close, wrap you in circles,
Use you
and change you -
Maybe thousands of years, brother.
- Carl Sandburg, 'Kin'

12:52 am

I'm asking the obvious, yet not to get too obvious.

Almost forgetting to search for the two photos. Unfortunately, names were the only ones left behind, not the images. Boohoo. Sorry that there isn't any visual therapy! =P

My birthday wish shall be, to get a big brown teddy bear. LOL. Perhaps too early to list it down, 'cos i might just get it one day. As big as possible, best if is bigger than me. :D Spongebob is too small. D: Sorry spongebob, you've to go one day.. If only, you're bigger. It's not too late now, to get a bigger spongebob. But i doubt it can be found.

I want it, i want it, i want it!

To make things look less obvious,
is just like asking me to shut up.
'Cos i can't make things less obvious.
And it's quite obvious now that i'm hiding something. -.-
Oh pardon me.

Sunday, February 17, 2008 8:31 pm

Same fate,

I just got to know someone better today,
a friend added long ago, say 2 years ago?
We added each other through maple.
Yet, we've lost in touch till he approached me.

COOL TALK we had. HAHA :D

We had the same fate,
from NA to EXP.

And speaking of table tennis in our conversation, i miss the table tennis at the old campus! Those days when we were playing there, during our recess and stuffs. Wonder where is the table tennis at the temporarily campus.. In no time, we'll be shifting back to the old campus! Grand invitation for ex-bpians to the brand new school! WOOHOO

By then, i'll be left alone. D:

2:00 pm

Online Tests

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?
Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.
Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.
You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

Always avoid: The 5-Night Stand (DBSM), The False Messiah (DBLM), The Hornivore (RBSM), The Last Man on Earth (RBSD)
Consider: The Loverboy (RGLM)

To take this test: http://www.okcupid.com/online.dating.persona.test

--------------------------------------------

Your Score: 7 - the Adventurer aka the Enthusiast.

"I am happy and open to new things"

Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.

How to Get Along with Me:
Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.
Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.
Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.
Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.
Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people.
Don't tell me what to do.

What I Like About Being a SEVEN:
being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down
being spontaneous and free-spirited
being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun.
being generous and trying to make the world a better place
having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures
having such varied interests and abilities

What's Hard About Being a SEVEN:
not having enough time to do all the things I want
not completing things I start
not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career
having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies
feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship

SEVENs as Children Often:
are action oriented and adventuresome
drum up excitement
prefer being with other children to being alone
finesse their way around adults
dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up

SEVENs as Parents:
are often enthusiastic and generous
want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life
may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive

More about Sevens: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_(Enneagram)
To take this test: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/6711512663497470889/Quick-Painless-ENNEAGRAM

Saturday, February 16, 2008 10:26 pm

Pesticide for two.

Stop irritating me.
When i say, stop means stop, enough is enough.
It was one then.
And then, so coincidentally.. another one 'came along'.
It is two now.
I'll just needa let it rest for a moment again.
Then it'd be zero. Sigh.
Just don't let me see the kuku and friend. -.-
I don't go kuku around, but this kuku called me a kuku.
So, i shall name this person as a kuku.

But, i won't be troubled by these trivial matters,
'Cos is not only me who feels irritated. :D

And i don't have a fetish for hairy legs, alright.
You're just so full of your nonsense. -.-

All i want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end.

1:44 pm

Honour & Unity.

Watch me grow,

with Honour and Unity.

*Removed* :D

Can you spot me 2 years ago?
Can you spot me a year ago?
This year, i'll be the audience, looking out for..

The Grand Finale.

The aftermath of a rain; a rainbow.

No matter how hard you fall, no matter how bad a start is,

in the end, you will see its fruit.
Just like that.

With great power, comes great responsibility.

Friday, February 15, 2008 1:06 am

Notepad life

Seeing notes, again.
Once again, the notepad life.

And i row my boat.
'Cos life's but a dream. Lol

The dark side of,
architecture.

Yet,

you see our smiles.

Thursday, February 14, 2008 3:39 pm

Let it be just a nightmare.

Dear friends and all,

This is getting serious. The nightmares/ bad dreams i get, is occuring to me almost every day and night? 'Cos i can't sleep through the night, thus my sleeping hours fluctuates between dawn till early noon? If telling my parents do help, i'd have done so much earlier. D':

I think last nightmare was really frightening..

I was heading down town to submit my work, saw a minister, bumped into my friend. That day, surprisingly was a Valentine's Day too. It somehow turned into evening already, so my friend walked me home. Along the way home, i nearly got knocked down by vehicles couple of times. Luckily my friend managed to pull me back. That was a life&death occurence.

While nearing my block, i told my friend that i can walk the remaining way myself. So, we parted there. I stepped into the lift, a suspicious stranger walked in. He smiled at me. The lift opened at 2nd floor (which none of us pressed it), i got quite afraid and exited out. He came after me! My first reaction: i ran up the stairs. He just kept chasing after me, and i kept screaming off my lungs but to no avail. The whole flat suddenly seemed so cold and empty, that i fell into despair. And i got raped.

I remembered i was crying and typing out this stranger's name, which has a 'Kung' and a 'Gung' in that 3 word-name, to my mum.

Popped.
I woke up. And it bothered me. I told myself that i should have climb down the stairs. However, i had a phobia of going down stairs 'cos i once fell from a flight of stairs.. D': Is this a spell on me? A premonition?

3:11 pm

Pretty Cure for you?

Woohoo. I like this ending song and its animation! So mimicking :D
If only the cadets can march like this. HAHA.
How cute can it be?

DATTE yatterannai jan, [But you can't do this to me!]
Faitaa yori, otome chikku ni. [Be a lover, not a fighter.]
Get you! Love love moodo jan [Turn your love-love mode on!]

Doesn't this send you off ROFL? :DD Sucha cute song. Imagine me and my lil bro singing and dancing away with this song? Okay, it'll worsen its popularity BUT WHO CARES. :D

12:07 am

Is milk really good for health?

Nutritional and physiological detriments:
One study demonstrated that men, and to some degree women, who drink a large amount of milk and consume dairy products were at a slightly increased risk of developing Parkinson's disease. The reason behind this is not fully understood, and it also remains unclear why there is less of a risk for women.

Controversy:
Advocacy groups such PETA and the Vegetarian & Vegan Foundation have attempted to establish a link between consumption of dairy products and various illnesses and diseases. Medical studies have shown a possible link between milk consumption and diseases such as Crohn’s Disease, celiac disease among the lactose intolerant, Hirschsprung's disease–mimicking symptoms due to milk proteins, increased risk of developing atopic disease after early feeding with cows' milk based formula, ulcerative colitis, severe gastroesophageal reflux disease in infants and children hypersenstitive to milk, and Behçet's disease.

Lactose intolerance:
Lactose, the disaccharide sugar component of all milk must be cleaved in the small intestine by the enzyme lactase in order for its constituents galactose and glucose to be absorbed. The production of this enzyme declines significantly after weaning in all mammals including humans (except for most northern westerners and a few other ethnic groups, lactase decline occurs after weaning, sometime between the ages of two and five). Once lactase levels have decreased sufficiently, consumption of small amounts of lactose can cause diarrhea, intestinal gas, cramps and bloating, as the undigested lactose travels through the gastrointestinal tract and serves as nourishment for intestinal microflora who excrete gas.

The above is some negatives of milk consumption. My previous post mentioned about drinking milk before sleep, and i had weird dreams/ nightmares on that night. My friend read it, and shared with me a shocking piece of news. He told me that milk can cause nightmares, read from a newspaper article long ago. -.-

I needa beware of:
Mastitis. ~~and Parkinson's disease (less of a risk for women)~~

However, i read up on PD's syndromes since PD itself strikes off as an interesting topic to me. The syndromes they listed, seem ordinary and it's just so common among us! Perhaps to me.

Cognitive disturbances:

Slowed reaction time; both voluntary and involuntary motor responses are significantly slowed.
Executive dysfunction, characterized by difficulties in: differential allocation of attention, impulse control, set shifting, prioritizing, evaluating the salience of ambient data, interpreting social cues, and subjective time awareness. This complex is present to some degree in most Parkinson's patients; it may progress to:
Dementia: a later development in approximately 20-40% of all patients, typically starting with slowing of thought and progressing to difficulties with abstract thought, memory, and behavioral regulation. Hallucinations, delusions and paranoia may develop.
Short term memory loss; procedural memory is more impaired than declarative memory. Prompting elicits improved recall.
Medication effects: some of the above cognitive disturbances are improved by dopaminergic medications, while others are actually worsened.

Sleep disturbances:

Excessive daytime somnolence
Initial, intermediate, and terminal insomnia
Disturbances in REM sleep: disturbingly vivid dreams, and REM Sleep Disorder, characterized by acting out of dream content - can occur years prior to diagnosis.

Sensation disturbances:

Impaired visual contrast sensitivity, spatial reasoning, colour discrimination, convergence insufficiency (characterized by double vision) and oculomotor control
Dizziness and fainting; usually attributable orthostatic hypotension, a failure of the autonomous nervous system to adjust blood pressure in response to changes in body position
Impaired proprioception (the awareness of bodily position in three-dimensional space)
Reduction or loss of sense of smell (microsmia or anosmia) - can occur years prior to diagnosis,
pain: neuropathic, muscle, joints, and tendons, attributable to tension, dystonia, rigidity, joint stiffness, and injuries associated with attempts at accommodation

Autonomic disturbances:

Oily skin and seborrheic dermatitis
Urinary incontinence, typically in later disease progression
Nocturia (getting up in the night to pass urine) - up to 60% of cases
Constipation and gastric dysmotility that is severe enough to endanger comfort and even health
Altered sexual function: characterized by profound impairment of sexual arousal, behavior, orgasm, and drive is found in mid and late Parkinson disease. Current data addresses male sexual function almost exclusively
Weight loss, which is significant over a period of ten years.

Those bold ones are red alert for me. T.T
Don't they appear to be common case for you too?

I've been drinking powder milk since i was born till secondary school days i think. Dumex okay! And after that 12years of consumption, i cut down on my milk consumption mum doesn't really encourage me to take fresh milk 'cos is cold, and she said i might suffer from asthma again. It's only when i eat cereal, i'd take fresh milk. Other than that, i'll avoid fresh milk. However, after taking it for several times, i'd get diarrhoea.
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Alright, that was an exhausive entry that includes reading the articles and extracting some of it, plus my causal anyhow. Oh and i've made a brand new style for my blog again. Previously, i had a greyish cum royale style skin for say about few hours before i changed to this complete royale style. It's not entirely credited to me, just that i mixed and matched a few skins together.

AIYO, look at the time now, tsk tsk. This should be the latest time i've been online this year or after school days? Dementia's acting up. Tsk.

And by the way,
Happy Valentine's Day!

Oh gracious god, amy is really insane..'cos..

Wednesday, February 13, 2008 2:15 pm

Am I that lucky?

“Every once in a while people step up, they rise above themselves. Sometimes
they surprise you, and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes, it
can push pretty hard, but if you look close enough you find hope in the words of
children, in the bars of a song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if
you're lucky, and if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the
person you love decides to love you back.”

I like this. I wish i'm lucky enough. (:
我时终还是开不了口。

Been suffering from insomina, sometimes i could just hear the alarm that my dad wakes up for work in the morning, and realized that i've been awake all the time. It's that bad. I drank few sips of milk before i slept, an advice from doctor-to-be that milk helps to relax our mind. 'Cos the previous incidents i had were bad/weird dreams, thus the advice of milk was given to me. Man, what worse could it turn? I got some weird dreams these few days too. Funny eh.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 2:08 pm

Lunar New Year; III

Day 3.
9feb, Sat

My house was the venue, and
i was one of the hosts for my extended family. :D

5th uncle came over to fry beehoon.
Me? I think i was blogging/reading/televisioning. Yea.

Gambling started among adults, leaving us; the young and ~~old~~ wisened cousins. The children played their toy cars around the house, and the teenagers thus started to 'warm up', by taking out poker. It's just so strange. You won't see us start talking unless someone initiates. And when someone initiates, it's usually to play cards. So, i think mich doesn't really like the idea of cards to bond? We shall use Times to bond us together eh? =x

Alright, so we teenagers got to play quite peacefully i should say. Ivan taught mich 99 and we managed to play 2 rounds of it before mich's family left. D: I heard 1st uncle invited some friends over to his house, and that's why the early leave. DD:

Anyway, the fun part is yet to reveal! :DD
We played Indian poker, as suggested by the young cousins, 'cos they wanna join us. :D
And mel seemed to get good cards all the times. Ivan and us started to sabo her 'cos she just doesn't want to change her card no matter what. When she got a bad card, all of us opened our cards, and leaving her to believe that her card is the lowest. HAHA. And the forfiet is.. to say 'I Love You' to one of the adults so long is not our grandpa/grandma/own parents.
And ivan chose my dad to be the target, but i changed to ivan's mum for her. HAHA. :D And after some hesitation or so, she finally made it! A 8 or 9 year old girl did it! :D

Next victim for the forfeit was my bro. He did the same as mel, and his target was 7th uncle. HAHA. 7th uncle was like, "AH?! I'm married! HAHAHA" And 7th aunt was just beside him lo. That's what fun is. HA. All of the adults kinda enjoyed it too. :DD

Third victim was K.W. He did the chicken dance! Remember the dance from Jimmy Neutron? He stood in the center of attention where all adults actually stopped their gambling and were waiting for his performance! HAHA. Oh well.

Rayden is still the eyecatching one. :D
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Gone with the fun celebration,
back with the unsettling mind problems. The boohoo.

Let me see, are your phones spoilt or is it mine? D:

心中有结
是否爱上了"老人"?
p.s: It's not in darch. That's a place for friends.

I've not asked.
It remains the same.
Maybe it might be good if i stay it this way.

I fall for 'The Click Five', their songs.

Saturday, February 09, 2008 1:45 pm

Lunar New Year; I & II

Wednesday, 6feb
Lunar New Year's eve

Reunion dinner at my grandma's house(mum's)!

Left: Taiwan variety show teased Singaporeans on their pronounication, now what? Even we've a problem with spelling? Sigh.
Right: We play toys during our visit there.

Left: Those familiar and similar toys i used to miggle with.
Right: The reserviorrr.

I had 3 servings. Muahahaha
I LOVE THE PIG STOMACH!
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Thursday, 7feb
HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!
Day One

Spot the headless fish. Me and mich were looking at the fish tank 'cos we've nothing much to do. That's the extreme sad case.

Gu po didn't turn up this year D:
Our favourite nightmare.

While waiting for ivan & van to return from their visitings, i was left with mel- the teenager wannabe, 'cos she likes to stick with us, rangers. D: So she was meddling with my necklace, asked tons of questions while i was just trying to be immersed in my novel! She pushed the armchair around the room which i was sitting on -.- Then we started playing the 'taxi game', pushing the chair around with customers in it, in that pathetic small dark room.

After van returned, me, mich, van, and kor were playing '24'. We stared blankly into the sets of 4, with adults asking what we were doing. Hahaha. :D Then when ivan returned, mich was gone -.- Boohoo. Ivan taught us couple of new card games; 99 and 41. Woohoo, adding on to our collection, totalling up to: Black J, Dai Di, Bridge, 24, Indian poker, 10, 99, 41. Alert me if i missed out any! :DDD

Oh yes, i ate damn lot. At my grandma's (mum's), i had one plate of rice with other dishes. Ate some of her ba gua and stuffs too. Then at grandparents' (dad's) house, i ate their mee, beehoon, vegetarian side dishes etc. In the evening, i gobbled down more of their mee, beehoon, ikan bilis, ivan's vegetarian curry puff, honey comb biscuits. And i 'concluded' with a pear. Yum yum. ~~Then i went to shit almost immediately. LOL.~~ :DDD

Photo of the day! :D
Ken is the extra one. HAHA :X
Mich was missing 'cos she left early D:

Something about me:
My makeup was washed away when i was at ghim moh. Thanks to the unknown flying saucer.

At cck, something ridiculous went into my left eye which i can't get it out till i applied eyedrop at ghim moh. That's like almost 8 or 9 hours later. So i was most of the time in a 'trying to rub yet can't rub' condition, to get rid of the unknown in my eye. I was washing off and applying on the eyeliner again and again, until i gave up in the evening. What a pity. Van couldn't see my makeup. Awwww. Lol.
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Friday, 8feb
Day Two

Headed down to mich's house! Her house is always blasting off with taiwanese singers' concert. This year, 1st uncle played Jay's recent concert for us. I didn't want! I just wanna watch my weekday showbiz, with my xiao gui hosting it. DD: What a boo. But well, at least my ears were treated to good music, which i love some songs from him.

Mugging eh? LOL. -.-

Countless and ideal poses came into my mind, with the right place and people, it'd be great. However, it turned into this somehow -.- Oh yes, mich was once again mia. So van and i decided to make an interview with her.
*Knock knock* *entered the room*
*In awe of her to read TIMES during cny* Omg.

And speaking of ivan and mich, they both are just so coincidental in terms of academic wise i should say. PSLE, they both got the same score. Os, they both got the same score again! Let's see if both will get the same for As or not. :D

The tradition, the culture, that we ought to bring down to the next generations. LO HEI ah! Okay, simply to put it, it's lao yu sheng. I'm not so sure about the spelling though. Oh well, picture paints a thousand words for you.

More photos will be uploaded soon.

And and, on top of that, i'm super elated and relieved. I MANAGED TO WATCH MY FIRST EPISODE OF SURVIVOR! Micronasia! WOOHOO. I was quite disappointed with the favourites 'cos they lost to the fans! And they had a tribal council to vote off someone. SADDENED. There's this james and a woman, got so carried off with their stuffs. Zz. That woman's a bitch man. I'm expecting more in the next episode. Couple's or Couples' love affair? Hiak hiak. Must watch.
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MOVIE MARATHON.
I wanna catch,

Kung Fu Dunk,
Ah long pte ltd,
P.S I love you,
The Leap Years.

Watch with me! D: Pleaseeeeeeeee.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008 7:35 pm

Eye Infection?

My
eyes,
no.
my left eye,
yes.
It's,
WEIRD.
Why?
'Cos both my eyes don't look right with each other.
Ohhhhh, i just got BOXED in the eye again?

My left eye is slightly darkened/blackened. ZZZZZZ.
'Cos of the goddamned eyeliners.
I bought the removal already la!

And guess what, today mum bought me eye&lip makeup removal, face makeup removal, waterproof style eyeliner, defined liquid eyeliner, and mascara. -.- WTH. Yea, she've already bought 3 eyeliner for me in total now. Oh well, my skin is gonna rot rot rot like hell. No, it has already rotten, with all those enhancements done to my skin, it is just rotting further.

If you see me with my shades on, it would mean i didn't bother to put on any makeup again.
But it could mean my makeup is just behind the shades. So, need not watch out for me.

The carousel, holds dreams of others', is a fantasy for them,
yet turned into a crime scene.
The picture perfect, holds in the eyes of the beholder.

No one starts a war- or rather, no one in his sense ought to do so- without
first being clear in his mind what he intends to achieve by that war and how he
intends to conduct it.
- Carl von Clausewitz, Vom Kriege

I hereby wish you a Happy Lunar New Year to all, in just 4 hours more. :D

I can't wait to don on my white dress/shirt, and black socks in contrast to match with. And some pinkish accessories; nailpolish, bracelet yada.

Rar, my white&black chinese new year. :DD

~~And i'd like to ask you out for a movie. :X~~

~~Don't worry ljh, it's not you, even if so, you won't. You, you, you fat hope ah. HNG.~~

Friday, February 01, 2008 9:37 pm

Long awaited

Mission unaccomplished!

Yada yada yada..
Nothing's going on,
and i'm not being pessimistic either.
Is waiting considered as one? 9 years?
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That was supposed to be my friday's, 1feb, post. And to think i've dragged till now, which is in a blink's moment. Blah.

TODAY, tuesday, 5feb.
I guess i was ~~just hibernating~~ in a coma for the past three days. :D Unknowingly, i woke up today, with such great composure, and the zeal in me to just shop. Whole day off with my bestie, really brought up as climax among my other mundane days. :DD

And of course, i wasn't angry at all, seriously. 'Cos i'm used to it. HAHAHA. :X Making it an exception for you kay, 'cos i know you. If others were like you, i guess i'd have fumed, and start yelling like an old maid.

To me, the most important is not the events that happened along the way, but is the person whom i'm meeting actually agreed to have his/her day with me! :D But obviously, i'll still feel the need to be angry/sad/whatever if there's something that push me to that limit.

Mx ah, you must be real jealous about it. But,
我只能说，三个字；我不配。 So, there might have this little chance of me getting it if i still want it? Man, you made me think that i should regret my stupid choice~~, making me to feel jealous that i would be the one beside~~? Lol? -.- I've no idea what i need/ want. Having choices are frustrating as much as having no choice. DD:

On the other hand, time to strike off one item off my cny list!
That's necklace. Bought it at bugis junction, for $5!!
Wanted to get both the black and white of the same design, for me and mama, but decided to go for one only, the ultimate black- my colour! Though white is also my colour. D:

One thing for sure, you do not want me to step back. You want me to step forward, a leap of steps forward.

Just like i believe in,
if you can't make it a leap of love, make it a leap of faith.
I've faith, in me.

And i've finally finished off my 'The Pact'. I swear it's really sucha nice contemporary fiction novel!
"In the matter of The State of New Hampshire versus Christopher Harte, on the court of murder in the first degree, how do you find?"
"Not guilty."
They grew up together, moved on to a world of two, and one day,
He, who shot his girlfriend dead, was found not guilty.

Wanna know why? Read it out. :D

"He cuts himself,"
"And she bleeds."
The pediatrician called it sympathy pain, said it was something they'd
outgrow.
They hadn't.

You couldn't live for very long without a heart.

I love JodiPicoult's style.
She makes me wanna be a novelist. :D
Alright, love me more with tenderness,
and i'll love you back with wilderness. 0.0

Erm, i think i'm totally off-form tonight,
even xueping thinks so too, with my unusual typing. =/
Shrug me off with wonder.
Tiredness may be one reason,
excitedness may be the other! :D

UBIN-UBINNNNN!
Who says ubin needa be linked with np? :D
Alright, it somehow does. -.-
Booshit.