thesurvivor♥

Tuesday, July 31, 2007 11:05 pm

Simpsons was quite nice and i think the storyline is meaningful too.

Soul-searching for self?
Family bond eh?

Aww so sweet la.
Lisa~ and the guy.
Mart or whatever, and Homer.
><

Among which was some rumour and violence, to spice up the show.
And the people who watched were so few.. boooo
And it was so cold -.-

Gonna head to bed early from now on!
I don't wanna fall into a worser state than current, i hope..
Sorethroat just makes me nauseous somehow when i wanna spit out the phlegm.
And i vomitted with an empty stomach, sourish liquid came out -.-
Yuck.
Feverish kind of feeling, and yet enclosed in such a freezing environment.

But i'm still hanging on.

Monday, July 30, 2007 11:26 pm

Life's unpredictable.

Sorethroat for some unknown reason, starts to bring in memories of OBS =P

NILA UTAMA!
Our instructor Louise!

Was it curry?
Was it prolonged talking?
Was it the throat soother sweet?
Or,
Was it the weather?

Pain.
My voice.
But hey my sexy voice is back -.-
Ah.

Leonard H. Robbins:
How a minority,
Reaching majority,
Seizing authority,
Hates a minority!

Saturday, July 28, 2007 12:04 am

Been into games since yesterday?

Dug out my magnetic games and played with mum for several rounds of snake & ladders, and aeroplane chess. Seemed so grown up, imagining myself playing that game for like few years back.. Hmm maybe not years bah. I think i brought to school during post-exams last year -_-

Oh well, seemed ages to me. Bleah.

The feeling was just so weird.

Today seems to be a games day with my family..
I suddenly had the urge to play with my mum, and yes we did.
Kinda bored of magnetic games, so i turned to the casino kinda game- the spin wheel one, which was erm.. boring? So, i forced myself to do some work..

Waited for my lil bro to end his 'timetable of the day', i did my work and watched tele.
And we all played monopoly!
Me, bro, lil bro and mum.
While Dad cooked maggie for us! Yum yum.

Lil bro went bankrupted and i was the next victim.
Boo.
Dad has been alone all the while so i decided to play a game of chess (or perhaps lets call it checkers) with him.
He beat me in the first round.
And well, kinda a draw for the second.
Wow. But the second round, he helped me at certain times.. so not counted.

Oh oh, we've new members in the family!
The fishy family has just moved in!
Gone with the 9 goldfish, now came the 5 guppies and erm the 19 or 20 skeleton self-illuminate fish? Yea yea, if you guys understand, thats it. They're adorable. Cool.

In all, i think i treasure my family more now.. (:
I need them..
Sigh.

I still think i do need people to look after me.
Afterall, i'm just a little kid in everyone's eyes.
Someone lacks of confidence and feeble?
Something to think on.

My eyes are shutting down soon i guess.
I can't really lift my eyelashes up, they're heavy.
Perhaps due to excessive rubbing of eyes.
Yawn. Alright, gonna turn in.

Another day has passed. (:
Time has successfully rubbed across me, welcoming another day.

Thursday, July 26, 2007 6:54 pm

Sorry is nothing but a word to me.

I see it as a hopeless case, so why should i bother?
Why should i slog so hard doing 7-men work?
I'm not even the leader, i'd rather not be in this case.

If you're not interested, quit it.
Don't implicate those who want to excel.
You're nothing but a black sheep.

Bla bla bla!
Go work in a farm then!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007 11:00 am

I know i'm silly.
I know i'm stupid.

But i know what's love.
The feeling i'm having now.

I can't forget the smell on you.

10:33 am

)):

T.T

There it goes again..

Tuesday, July 17, 2007 10:13 pm

心养养!

<3

Absence makes the heart fonder.

9:58 pm

Everyone's waiting.

Me too.
I really __ you.
As promised, no mushy until one day.

(:

Waiting is a bliss, yet a torment.
I chose bliss.

Sorry but i'm not over you.
Never will i.
Please dont lose hope.
I know you still feel for me.
Keep it with you till you're ready.
I'm always ready for you, seriously.

5:50 pm

I rape my spongebob..

See that smile on his face.
He loves it!

Oh gosh, there he goes again, hiding under my quilt.

...

I love him so much!
I don't mind a yellow and squarish boyfriend.

He just turns me on.
=X

I...

2:18 pm

I will,
I do,
I shall,
I must,
I promise.

I don't care what others think already.
It's my life i'm talking about.

What others said are only advices, opinions.
In the end, I still have to make a decision.

"You're mine."

2:08 pm

I should really stop ill-treating my hair?

Stop playing with my hair.
Stop scratching my head.
Try to stop cutting layers.

Er.. washing hair daily will affect anything?

I dont want to become botak T.T
lol.

Shall sleep on my face.
><

Monday, July 16, 2007 8:49 pm

To you, my grandpa.

TADA!

Get well soon!

Just a simple gesture of mine, to show at least i care.

Sorry for not being able to attend the weekly routine for past few weeks due to my hectic schedule.. My apologies if ever anyone of you missed me! =X

Hee.

8:46 pm

Xu Bin is handsome de lo! =P
Have the potential of Wu Zun er is it spelt like that? Hahaha who cares. =X
*Must not let cindia see*

Hahaha
but er not my type =P
bleahhh.

7:18 pm

Mr chieu said i slimmed down over the weekend -.-

Errr is it that obvious? =/
I doubt so..

Yay im slim-ified.

But..
Tummy tummy tummy~
Eh it's still here -.-

That time dont have lo!
Now start to grow back le... T.T

12:50 pm

Hmmm today is submission day!

but from 4 to 5pm..
So now im bored bored..

I was eating my lunch and heard my cell ringing, so i dashed out and answered.
It was my poly friend asking me about the project, so i helped out her like erm about 20mins or so i think.

After which i went back to the kitchen and saw an empty bowl of mine -.-
So i've already finished eating..

It was really an amazing yet a shocking sight, seriously speaking.
Could i have forgotten?
Or something else..

Gosh, where's my mind?!?!
*search search*

There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity.
General Douglas MacArthur (1880 - 1964)

10:52 am

You're ruled by the planet Saturn. It's symbol is represented by the Goat. You're an Earth sign, and is conservative and ambitious.
I am ruled by the Sun. It's symbol is represented by the Lion. Im a Fire sign, and is creative and grandiose.

You will listen to my fascinating, enthusiastic plans and dreams. But do not try to put these ideas into motion until after you have mulled it all over and shown me where something is not practical. Keep your finances to yourselves with separate accounts and never, ever discuss them! You can have grand plans and I will enthusiastically support them. I must show respect for your well thought out plans and ambitions but both signs are very stubborn. Some adjustments will be necessary for this relationship to work. It is a good idea to compare your rising sign to the rising sign (or Sun sign) of the person you are comparing yourself with. This will give you a more detailed overall picture of the relationship.

Ooooooo i see.. =X

10:40 am

You are honest, thorough, practical, ambitious, business-like and careful.

You can be cold and aloof. You are determined, dependable, responsible and may be interested in collecting antiques.

You're very often politically minded. You have an excellent sense of timing.

You're also patient, reserved, cautious, faithful and shrewd. You possess a great deal of drive, and your sense of duty is very strong. But can be very suspicious at times.

Possible negative aspects: You can be unfeeling, gloomy, pessimistic, miserly, unyielding, self centered, and revengeful.

Cool eh? But that's not about me. Most of them are quite true.. EXCEPT FOR ONE!

Sunday, July 15, 2007 1:31 pm

To whom it may concern:

JIA YOU!

(:

From whom you know!

When the going gets tough,
the tough gets going.

I will post up some quotes which i know whenever i blog, alright! If you're quotation fanatic.. er just stay tuned to my blog? And perhaps share some of yours too =/

My tagboard is so so 'hyper'. ><

Saturday, July 14, 2007 2:14 am

WORRIED about..
=/

Took a cab to school.
Dizziness.
Work work work.
Till now.

Good night, sweet dreams.
zzZ

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 7:18 pm

I dont enjoy my life now.

SUCKS.

Still, have to struggle with it..
2 years plus to go.

It's hard to work with those people.

Anyway, there's this friend who keeps asking us tons of questions regarding project, none of us replied her for she's just so irritating. Cant she check up the lecture notes? Cant she ask the lecturers?

The rest of us always clarify with the lecturers.

So on monday, she ignored us. Fine.
And that was the day i felt the double impact..

So sudden...
Sigh.

Oh and, well, yesterday i went to talk to her online, thought that she broke up with her bf. But actually not.. she was referring to her ex. And she was somewhat telling me about her relationship with ex, etc.

So i actually apologized to her for not replying her. And she actually didnt apologize to me, saying what wrong have she done.

Pissed yet heartbroken.

So i told her she started all unnecessary stuff and irritated all of us.
And in the end, she apologized.

Sigh i regreted much as i'd rather not have such a friend..

I need someone to confine my problems to..
Perhaps just one person.

Looks like you're busy.
So.. i've decided to blog here, hoping you'll read my life when you're free?
And also to save as drafts for some privacy..

4:36 pm

Tears running down as and when..
I really cant get down to work despite several attempts.
Getting myself busy is one method but ive been immuned to it..

Quitting course.. is yet another option.

What should i do?

Pray? Check.
Divert concentration to work? Check.
Confine in others? Check.
Trying hard not to do silly things? Check.

= 0% success.

Sigh.. I cant move on this way.
Work undone. 4 days left.
Some people might be gloating over my plight.. Whatever..

You're never forgotten..

2:16 pm

To love is to let go?
To love is hurting.

Ability to love.
Ability to sacrifice.
Ability to endure.

Im just an emo person in real.

Just crying over split milk..

1:11 pm

Thanks Ming Xian, Sham, Fadzri and Adeline..

And of course, you too (:
Let's brace up for a better future TOGETHER, alright?

I need your support and im sure you need mine too.
It's not about lingering but virtually together?
I believe in that. And fear not, dont get worried.

You'll only worry when you cant do anything for me.
And that's the case now.

I wont be bothering you for now bah.
Dont want to stress you up.
It has been hard on you.

I want to linger here with you, here with you..

10:13 am

I've lost my appetite,
I've lost my concentration.

I skipped school today.
Helplessly went weak and emotional on a rainy day..
I've lost the motivation to be the cheerful girl as most of you know in me..
I've turned into an emo girl..
A girl who has lost her everything..

And basically, im in self denial, im self pity.
I've left like a couple of friends?

I've lost my watch- 4 year plus of possession which my dad bought for my birthday..
Lastly,
I've lost you- 4 months 8 days of possession.

I'm really upset about my watch.
Now a bigger impact..
I REALLY REGRET ASKING FOR YOUR DECISION.
Please withdraw?
The answer from you is a definite 'no'..

Till now, im still feeling possessive over you.
I assure you that forever.
Keen to know everything about you.

I've been wearing blinders.
Just eyes on you.

But now having the fear to conquer..
I fear rejection.
I fear loneliness.
I fear fear.

I can't live on though i keep telling myself to move on.
The song you sent before we got together kept running through my mind.

我用一生一世的心，换来一生一世的情..

With that, Im committed to you.
I really cant move on without you.
I've tried, and always ended up crying instead.

No work has been done efficiently.
Nothing can be done.
Only tears smudging my papers,
tissues all over,
checking my handphone,
checking msn.

But i've got nothing.

It's a life, a living thing..
Unlike others in your hand, non-living things.
I've been defeated by them.
I aint seriously not convinced till now.
They've been with you for long, i know.

Studies can give you future.
The other i doubt so. And my friend once said, it's just a propaganda.
Me myself, i can if im given a chance to.
To me, you're my second priority (studies come first now).

You're my motivation.
My source of life.
My life-long battery..

And now, im placing you as my top priority, before i could really go on with my studies..
I wonder how long can i hold on to my breath..
I've nothing to lie.

I've read all of your blog posts, testimonials and all when we were together.
And i'm still reading them whenever i think of you.
I wont be happy with just virtual possession which anyone could have it too.

I might be blogging for long, till the day you pick me up.
Right here waiting...

Give me a ring, sms, msn or what,
im really desperate for it..

Tuesday, July 10, 2007 11:54 pm

I really feel like quitting my course..
Might even go blind one day.. Sigh.

-----
I've never regret my choice. I need you.
With you, everything can be so well done.
Without you, everything starts to turn bad..

Youre not only my love but also my lucky star.
CNY fortune telling not accurate eh?
CNY they said horse is snake's lucky star (doubt so bah.. ): )
Then whose is horse's lucky star? =/ Goat bah?

Boo. I can't get you out of my mind..
The more you try to avoid, the more you get it.

Absence makes the heart fonder!

8:53 pm

I will never enjoy my poly or even course life..
It's freaking me out!

---

You'll be missed in my deepest heart.
Till we meet again within the year.

Please. *pray to god*
You're the only one whom i can be so carefree.
Never before did i felt that..

Well, right now, just concentrate on your studies kay!
No worries, i will obey you as much as i love you.
I will move on too!
To a much more better person than i am now, just for you.

You're my reason.

My sweetest first ever
and forever..

I'll be waiting for that day to arrive, seriously i will, just to let you know.
Hoping on an uncertain hope i've (:

3:16 pm

Im desperate right now.

Desperate to love, desperate to die.

I hope things will get better FAST.

Tears serve as sword to you, but as nothing to me.
I can cry while talking, while walking while doing anything,
since the day started.

So long it starts, you'll beg to stop.
Once you read this, i hope there's no dateline to where we stopped.

I cant concentrate ever since..
Why must it be this period of time?
I shouldnt have asked you for a decision.
We were fine before that.
Okay, perhaps not to you..

No point hurrying, i know. But is just such a prolonged torment to me, yet not to you. A strong-willed man like you will not fail to defeat, let alone commitment. Commitment to me, i hope and i trust.
Commitment to what you're holding now, i surrender.

Hope everything goes well for you.
No matter what, take this upon me as a promise- i will wait.

With all eyes around me,
I promise, i will.

Not just for the sake of promise but a faithful heart and love.
Im hooked on you.
Treat it as mushy, but i fear not those for now, but a truly confession.

I'll wait till you're ready,
meanwhie looking back at our memories we had together.
Messages, photos, and presents..

I really treasure for what i hold, and thanks for all and sorry for ruining your other commitments during the times you were with me. I guess i should let you accomplish what you want, before we move on.

Be it youre being selfish, i am too.
Having you would not mean having the past we had.
Not having you would not mean i cant have you again.

Just dont leave me and my status you've given me.
You're everything to me.
I will fight for my fate, my happiness and my future.
I will not let affinity to ruin anything.

The more i think, the more crazy i am for you (okay, thats sick, please ignore).
I LOVE YOU more than anything else!!!

Monday, July 09, 2007 3:56 pm

I WILL WAIT FOR THE DAY!

!@%#$gnh45u&$53w^Y34Yge4U&5487twevSEDbseyu%r875r7%^321$!@^*6796&)&^-8*FDSVDRYEW2q23532y4575sdgdfuity$#W^$%*(65423ert:87u6ytreqwfasil987fewqdSDWFE78o65432456tu754325!@$@#^^%)-8785%734$#7#$346$798)8-0[-0{_);o">?kjMfgSDzvZvSDgWEherhw54%@1521s1@C23v535v35v3ctx3534%#%32cx#@V243^V45">87u6ytreqwfasil987fewqdSDWFE78o65432456tu754325!@$@#^^%)-8785%734$#7#$346$798)8-0[-0{_);o'P>?kjMfgSDzvZvSDgWEherhw54%@1521s1@C23v535v35v3ctx3534%#%32cx#@V243^V45#

Poof. All in one go.
Living on promises is terrible..

Just dont forget me, and ourselves.
DONT.